Debbie and Laurie were very close friends, and as such, they supported each other in the ups and downs of life.
When Debbie’s ten-year-old daughter was tragically killed in an accident, Laurie rose to the challenge.
She provided the emotional support her dear friend needed.
Being there for Debbie became Laurie’s focus for a season, and understandably so. But something subtle happened inside her during that time.
Something that wasn’t good for her heart.
You see, every time she faced something difficult, Laurie found herself comparing her suffering to Debbie’s.
And her pain fell short.
Have you ever found yourself in that comparison trap? Your boyfriend breaks up with you, but you tell yourself, Compared to my friend’s divorce, this isn’t that bad.
Or you are miserable with chronic pain, but you tell yourself, My cousin has cancer and has to go through chemo. Compared to his situation, this isn’t that serious.
Or you have a painful argument with your teenager and you feel a wall between you, but you tell yourself, My neighbor’s kid got into drugs and ran away. Compared to that, this issue isn’t that difficult.
On the surface, this response might look pretty spiritual.
It seems to demonstrate a self-effacing attitude that looks like humility — or perhaps a bootstrapping attitude that masquerades as faith. But did you know the Bible doesn’t affirm this comparison game we tend to play?
“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” says Proverbs 14:10.
In other words, it’s all apples and oranges. God doesn’t measure your pain in comparison to someone else’s. What matters to him is that you are hurting — and he cares.
God doesn’t minimize our pain. He never has been one to grade on a curve. In his eyes, your suffering matters. He doesn’t measure it next to the pain of another.
Instead, he suffers with you, comforts you, strengthens you, and brings you through your trial as you turn to him.
Denial, minimizing and comparing get in the way of what God wants to do for us.
Does this surprise you? Have you been downplaying whatever you are going through because you think the suffering of others is more significant than yours?
God is a very personal God. He doesn’t treat us like a lazy, uncaring human dad who lumps all his kids into a group and doesn’t treat them fairly as individuals.
He’s just. He’s kind. We can trust him to measure things correctly.
So if your girlfriend dumped you, or you got the flu, or your daughter hurt your feelings, he cares. He isn’t using some kind of percentage chart to see if your pain is worthy of healing.
Laurie finally realized that her comparison habit was not helping either herself or Debbie. She sensed God saying to her, “Will you please stop this?”
She listened, and stopped treating her own trials as unworthy of God’s care or comfort. Maybe that’s your next step, too.
Let’s treat the apples as apples, and stop measuring them against the oranges.
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