The sky is a pearly grey overcast, the lake a pewter sheen with tiny ripples from the breeze. A blackbird sings from the shore; two geese honk in the distance. Coots circle near the dock, occasionally disappearing and bobbing back up.
I want to be like a coot.
Not that I want to grow feathers and eat live fish; I want to live differently than what my culture – even my church culture – dictates.
I want to live an upheld life.
I did not have swim lessons in a pool with a licensed instructor until I was ten. The limited coaching I got before that was from my then-teenage uncles at a local reservoir. I remember standing in ankle deep muck, looking at the dark brown water, listening to tall tales about a giant red thing that lived in there.
I pictured a six-foot salamander-like monster fond of little girl’s flesh.
That training did nothing to enhance a love of deep water, and to this day I am fearful of swimming in natural bodies of water.
Just so, there are voices telling me that if I launch out in faith spiritually, something bad will suck me under. So I nervously tread water and exhaust myself instead of letting the water hold me up.
I watch a coot paddle around, dive down for food, pop back up. Effortless. He is in his natural environment, doing what he was made to do. He doesn’t have to fight fearful voices in his head that cause him to throw unnecessary energy into swimming.
Floating is much more fun than striving.
Truth is, God’s power upholds us at all times. His Holy Spirit is our guide, teacher and comforter. His firm but gentle direction is always available. Yet so often we start our day with an abbreviated prayer based on what we think we have to accomplish, and then ask God to help us check off our list.
No wonder we are tired. We tread and dog-paddle and pant our spiritual life away until we nearly drown, unable to sustain the effort. What a tragedy. If we rested in the water’s power instead of fighting it, we could stay there and enjoy it as we were meant to.
The Christian life is not meant to exhaust you. The fears that make you fight the waters of grace are not from God.
Lord, deliver me from fear and striving. Teach me how to float in Your provision for all I need today. Let me live a life upheld by grace, to your glory. Amen.
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