So I'm on this gleeful rampage of cleaning out my files, and I run across an article I'd clipped ten years ago. It's entitled "Shame May Not Be So Bad After All." In this still-timely article, Dr. Joyce Brothers articulates the difference between good shame and bad shame. Here's an example of bad shame: My Kindergarten teacher regularly called me "Slowpoke." She didn't realize until I was in first grade that I had only recently learned English and needed time to mentally translate her instructions from English to German. Bad shame humiliates and makes Continue Reading
What to do When You’re Not Proud of Your Attitude
It's time for another true confession. Remember the Disney driver's education movies starring Goofy? (This reveals my age, but that's not what I'm embarrassed about.) Goofy plays the kind, friendly Mr. Walker when he is a pedestrian -- but put him behind the wheel of a car, and he morphs into the crabby, impatient, self-righteous Mr. Wheeler. Gone is Mr. Walker's warm smile; in its place is Mr. Wheeler's glowering countenance, angry voice and heavy hand on the horn. I've been That Lady, way too many times. Oh, I might not honk much, but my attitude when Continue Reading
Why I’m Not the Boss of Me Anymore — and Why I’m OK With That
He found it in his father's workshop, beat up and weathered almost beyond recognition, its compartments filled with nails and bolts and screws. But that's not what it was made for. My cousin Matthias, who lives in Germany, recognized the old secretary as one of the woodworking masterpieces our great-grandfather had hand-crafted in the 1890's. He paid somewhere around $2,000 to have it restored. This stunning piece is now displayed in Matthias' living room. I've often heard about the process of restoration from my father, himself a worker in finely crafted wood Continue Reading
How This One Simple Habit Nourishes Your Soul
I walk past it and drive by it all the time, without a second thought. But on a recent walk, I slowed down enough to actually pay attention to the little vineyard in my neighborhood. This is something we are becoming increasingly bad at, isn't it? Paying attention? We rush through our day, checking off items on our to-do list, but fail to notice the beauty and the meaning in our surroundings. I'm pretty bad about that, but on this particular day, I let my eyes drink in the natural beauty before me and pondered its significance. I was amazed at how much insight Continue Reading