Why You Can’t Afford to Confuse Love with Fear of Rejection

Remember the “Emergent conversation?” You know, the plethora of books and articles a few years ago telling Christians how to stop being jerks?

Perhaps you read those authors, too. Perhaps you realized that, yes, Christians have developed some bad habits.
 
Habits like telling people what to believe instead of listening to their story, or trying to force John 3:16 into every conversation.
 
Habits like being judgmental, formulaic and phony.
 
In other words, we figured out our approach to sharing our faith was often annoying.
 
Along came voices like Brian McLaren, Jim Henderson, Erwin McManus, Dan Kimball and others, encouraging us to find a gentler way to come alongside people and to think outside the box about church life.
 
I’m thankful for the insights I’ve gained from these pastors. They’ve helped me grow in sensitivity.
 
I want to “be winsome in order to win some,” as my late friend Keith Hazell, founder of Lifelinks International, often said.”
 

I wonder, though … have we become so overly concerned with befriending people that we’ve lost sight of the urgent message we are commissioned by Jesus to proclaim?
 

Of what ultimate value is a friendship if it does not include telling the truth — especially when the other person’s eternal destiny is at stake?
 
Yes, Paul preached to the people in Athens by framing his message in a way they could understand (Acts 17). Yes, he said we are to be all things to all men (1 Corinthians 9:22,23).
 
The same great apostle pleaded with believers:
 

“…and (pray) also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel” (Ephesians 6:19) and “… pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison.” (Colossians 4:3)
 

Oh, yeah … Paul is in prison as he makes this request. So there’s that.
 
Honestly, we American Christians don’t have much to lose — at least, not yet. We won’t lose our jobs, families, or lives the way believers in other places do.
 
It’s about rejection. We don’t like it. We want to think well of ourselves. Who wants to be a jerk?
 
So I’m challenging myself with this: Am I just trying to prove I’m a cool Christian by having non-Christian friends, or am I proclaiming the gospel?
 
Love toward others and boldness in sharing our faith are not mutually exclusive attitudes. We’ve got to stop being so intimidated.
 
Love isn’t rude or obnoxious, but it does tell the truth. Love patiently looks for opportunities to share the good news.  Love accepts another person as is, and then offers the hope of transformation.
 
Love is about much more than hanging out and getting along. Love also courageously declares the good news about Jesus.
 

 
The gospel represents a stumbling block to those who have yet to respond to it. Pre-believers often have to work through emotional resistance before submitting to Christ.
 
Years ago, I had a friend who got angry whenever the subject of Jesus came up. She had grown up going to church, but had never personally received Christ. Once she did, her irritation was replaced by lasting peace.
 
Are we willing to let people wrestle with the truth?
 
Are we willing to let them get upset with us for sharing it?
 
Do we love so boldly we’re willing to suffer a little rejection so that someone else can find eternal life?
 
You aren’t at risk for being thrown to the lions these days– but I pray you are as bold as one in declaring the gospel.
 

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