Why We Should Offer Compassion to Gays — and What it Should Look Like

How should we handle same-sex attraction and same-sex marriage? This is the issue of the day. Christians with well-known names have taken positions on both sides of the issue. Emotions abound.
 

This is not an easy topic for anyone. Many gays have expressed being treated with disdain, if not outright hostility, by the Church.
 
We have been abysmal in our treatment of our fellow man on this issue. I mean, carrying signs that vilify gays, claiming that God hates them? Really?
 
Excommunicating parents because they choose to continue a relationship with their gay son?
 
There’s some folks that owe some other folks a deep apology.
 
We haven’t been fair. We haven’t been godly. We haven’t been compassionate. And I say “we,” because it is a mistake to assume it’s only “those people.”
 
As a believer, I am part of a larger whole, and I need to intercede and repent accordingly.
 
So I’m asking God to deal with my own heart when it comes to this issue. I want to be fair and compassionate. I have no desire to show disdain to anyone.
 
So what does compassion look like?
 
Jesus did not address homosexuality specifically, because his audience was Jewish, and familiar with Old Testament laws. In the passages in Exodus and Leviticus listing laws on sexual behavior, acting on homosexual urges is forbidden.
 
Jesus did say he came not to abolish the law, but to complete it. And he dealt with the issue of sexual morality with the woman who came to wash his feet in Luke 7.
 
Note two things in this passage, consistent with other passages where sinners encounter Jesus.
 
First, Jesus does not devalue the person.
 
Given his culture, he could have looked down on this woman simply because of her gender. On top of that, she was a known prostitute!
 
But what does Jesus do? He receives her ministry, commends her above those who invited him to dinner, forgives her sins, and tells her to go in peace.
 
No judgmental placards. No pointing finger. No vilifying.
 
(If anything, Jesus puts Simon the Pharisee in his place by pointing out that this woman has shown more love toward him than Simon has.)
 
Second, Jesus does not validate the sin.
 
This is the part that gets tricky for us when it comes to same-sex attraction and same-sex marriage. Gays insist on a compassionate response, and rightly so, but here’s the thing.
 

We cannot afford to confuse compassion with validation.
 

Jesus did not come to excuse our sins, but to forgive them.  He did not come to minimize or redefine our wrongdoing, but to make our transformation possible.
 
Isn’t this the heart of the Gospel?
 
However, we swim in a postmodern stew of relativism, and our culture elevates emotions above God’s laws. Therefore, many Christians are confused and feel we must condone same-sex relationships in order to be loving.
 
Nothing could be further from the truth.
 
We can’t ignore what God has to say about human sexuality for fear of being called a “hater.” (Besides the Old Testament references, the epistles are clear about this issue — one example is Romans 1:26-27.)
 

As the Church, we can’t cave in and conform to the world’s thinking (see Romans 12:1), lest we open a Pandora’s box of unimaginable moral chaos.
 

If having compassion means validating sin, it follows logically that compassion toward pedophiles mandates allowing sex with children. Compassion for murderers means we must let them kill others. And so on.
 
Is this where we want our “compassion” to lead?
 
Real compassion has boundaries. It is not based on current cultural norms or people’s feelings, but on God’s word.
 
The gospel trumps sin of any kind. Let’s exercise courageous compassion by sharing how Jesus transforms lives.
 
How have you struggled in this area?
 
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