Everyone seems to be on the lookout for the magical person that fate has destined them to be with ... the one whose purpose is to fulfill their needs and function as their other half.   The best outcome, if we are to believe this line of reasoning, is to find your soul mate, marry them, and live happily ever after.   This thinking, which saturates our culture, has crept into the church as well.   Scott and I just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary, an occasion which always causes me to ponder the wonder and mystery of marriage.   This year, I find myself Continue Reading

I'm pretty sure you don't get up in the morning and wonder, Who can I put down today? Yet there is one person you might be unkind to on a regular basis -- and not even be aware of it.     I'm talking about how you treat you. Have you ever been guilty of having these kinds of conversations in your head?   You big dummy. You did it again! What is wrong with you? I'm no good at __________. Picture Chris Farley in the Saturday Night Live skit as the bumbling talk-show host, slapping himself on the head, saying, "Auuugh! I'm so stupid!"   You do Continue Reading

You get what they don't need. They don't need platitudes. They don't need theological proof texts pointing to sin in their life. They don't need another burden -- the burden of condemnation, or forced cheerfulness, or a sense of obligation to try your sure-fire remedy. We talked about those in last week's post. But what can you do that your loved one will appreciate? What actions lighten their load and brighten their day? 1. Your gentleness and sensitivity. There's a reason hospitals are kept quiet. Sick people get easily stressed by noise and activity, and this impairs Continue Reading

Q: What's worse than facing day after week after month after year of poor health, with no answer in sight? A: Having your church friends tell you,   "The reason you're not healed yet is because you don't have enough faith."   Has anyone ever said as much to you? Or, have you heard those words come spilling out of your own mouth? The place of faith in healing is a subject worthy of a separate post, but for now, let's acknowledge most of us have been guilty of insensitivity toward those with long-term health problems. We act like Job's comforters, offering theological Continue Reading