Are you troubled by all the talk of what is safe or not these days? In a world full of terrorism, riots, and abusive authority figures, we want protection -- but could it be the pendulum has swung too far the other way? Don't get me wrong; I believe in safety. Abuse and bullying need to be called out and shut down. Having said that ... [Tweet "We get in trouble when psychology frames our theology instead of the other way around."] I'll give you the most extreme example I've heard: When God the Father sent his Son to earth to die for our sins, he committed child Continue Reading
Don’t Go from Protecting Victims to Being the Next Bully
You hate injustice. Something rises up in you when whites use their power to oppress blacks, or protestors claim that God hates gays, or priests use children to satisfy their urges. Such selfish acts are cruel and morally reprehensible. You want to speak out against evil. That's because you are created in God's image, and he is just. You are wired with a "justice monitor." We start the cry in childhood: That's not fair! Something deep in us wants the scales of justice to return to proper balance. Here's where we need to be careful. Justice is important, Continue Reading
It’s Not Too Late to Apologize to Your Kids
It felt risky. I wasn't sure how things would play out. Would my 18-year-old forgive me? I knew I had offended Danny by raising my voice and being harsh many times over. Yet I had always said I wasn't a fan of generalized apologies. You know, the insincere quickie, I'm sorry for everything I ever did wrong, so now we're good, right? Still, it was time to swallow my pride, confess my wrong, and ask for my son's forgiveness. Even if it was a blanket appeal, it was better than pretending nothing was wrong. So we're sitting in the cafe where all of Danny's Continue Reading
Can I Stop the Drama in my Brain, and Get Positive?
Time for another true confession. I hate to admit it, but I am one of those people who consistently anticipates worst-case scenarios. Some embarrassing examples: I forget where I placed my purse and instantly assume it's been stolen. Or I leave the house and then remember I didn't turn off my curling iron-- and in my mind's eye, the house burns to the ground. Have these things ever happened to me? No! So why does my brain go there? Maybe you can relate to this. Maybe your mind works overtime on creating drama and dwelling on potential negative Continue Reading